Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Is the honeymoon over?

Ok...before you freak out...
Meisi is still the sweetest, funniest, cutest little girl we could've ever hoped for and we love her more than words could possibly express...

She has spoiled us the past 9 days just as much as we've spoiled her!
Her smile - it lights up a room and melts our heart
Her kisses - yes she gives them and they are so so precious!
Her laugh - oh my heart...no words
Her voice - so little and sweet (most of the time) :) 

How did she spoil us?
She would sing herself to sleep at night...
The first week I tried to rock her and sing to her and she would point to her crib and shake her head no...

She was waking up with a dry diaper in the mornings - yes people, she pees on the potty - oh my word - can't say enough about how amazing New Hope Foundation and LWB are - I am certain she learned that with them!!!  Now only in the morning - but still that is amazing!!

She loves being held, being hugged, being tickled by Brian and I...

So why is the honeymoon over?
I think her shell is cracking....
she is realizing we are in love with her and is trusting us more...
either that or she is tired of us... ;)

The struggles now/how have we spoiled her:
The past two nights she wept, I mean wept...
The first night was because Brian wasn't in the room...yes, she is totally daddy's girl
Tonight - because we didn't hold her and rock her to sleep....
So of course, we pick her up and sing to her, rocking her which quickly puts her to rest.

What happened??  We think maybe her falling asleep in the carrier being held has made her realize we will do it?  Maybe?  Who knows?

Another struggle - she still will not let the kids love on her like they want to.  She yells at them, hits, kicks them to get them away.  More often this happens between she and Ian than Aili but happens to both.  Ian is just heart broken. He has been so in love with her for so long... praying for her daily, looking forward to hugging and kissing her...  So so hard for him.  Especially when our new friend's little girl adores him. 

Now - she did finally hug him tonight and sit in his lap for maybe 2 seconds without screaming at him or kicking him... which made him happy... but he still gets so so sad every time she pushes him away. :(  Please pray she grows to love and trust him quickly.  He has such a tender heart... Please also pray for Brian and I that we can figure out how to deal with all these issues... 

All we have done so far is sit her next to us (because usually holding her) and tell her in English and in charades/sign language, "no Meisi, you cannot hit or kick your brother/sister."  She cries and cries but I think it is mostly because we are not holding her. 

Yes...that is another struggle - she does not like to walk much.  She doesn't care for a stroller either... she wants to be held - mostly by Brian.  So hard to know what to do - so for now - we are carrying her when she refuses to walk (she will become limp and completely lay down if we try to get her to walk when she doesn't want to). 

I don't want to paint an ugly picture- she is a 2 year old... and definitely on target for the "terrible twos" - trying to figure out what she can get away with and can't.  The hardest part for us is knowing we have to handle her discipline so much differently than we did for Aili and Ian.  She has not had the safe, nurturing family from birth that they have had.  Her life has been totally turned upside down the past couple weeks and she is still learning to trust and love us.  I was on my knees last night begging God for His amazing wisdom on how to handle all this....how to love and disciple our kids who have had such different beginnings.  Will you join us in prayer for this? 

On a totally different note...Aili tonight told Brian she wanted him to apply for a job with Marriott because the waiter at the restaurant (from the Netherlands) was telling us how they needed more GMs in China...  When we asked her why she wanted to stay here she said, "The food is great, they have the most beautiful parks in the world and I just love it here."  :) 

Here are some of those beautiful parks - we have gone to Yuntai Park - which was an amazing flower garden and another park just down the road from our hotel (no idea what it is called)... it really is beautiful here. 

We also went to the Chen Family Temple.  Beautiful woodwork and architecture... Great place for prayer walking for the emptiness that all the outward beauty brings. 

I find myself praying and walking a lot here.  So much emptiness.... oh how I wish I could talk with them about the greatest love story ever - the story of our God and Savior who died for us so that we could live... Our amazing Father who adopted us into His family and loves us more than words can express...  I really need to learn Mandarin...or for Guangzhou - Cantonese. :) 

Some more cute Daddy/Daughter moments.... for all you dads out there who wonder if you could love a child that didn't come from your gene pool... he questioned it once too....pretty sure the pics show there is no dobut in the answer...


  1. She may be 2, but she may also need to relive her infant hood, so give her time and prayer. Also, other children may have been mean to her or been competition for her in the past, so it may take time for her to not see her siblings as threats. Just give it time, prayer, and love and it will all work out. You will see an amazing difference 6 months from now! Praying for you all.

  2. It will all come together with time. Such big adjustments for such a small little girl. Different language, family, environment, then you are going to get home and have more adjustments to her new day to day life. I pray that the kids will be understanding and just wait and be the best sibling they can be sitting "close" to her.

  3. Awwww, I identify with that totally. Only, our honeymoon with Li'l Empress lasted till she'd been home about 4 -5 months. And then it all stood on it's end and tossed us for a loop. I figured out later that that time frame was about how often she'd be transferred to another care situation. About 4 different times before we brought her home forever. Like she said, "Oh, these guys are sticking around. I can be myself now. I can let all the ugly and hurt up and out." Yeah, lots of tough nights and re-do's on teh bedtime routine multiple times a night when it happened. Hang in there. B/c I remember it so well, I'll pray for you while you are dealing with it. :)

  4. Praying for you guys. The pictures show the love that she has for you guys as well as your love for her. Give her time to warm up to the Aili and Ian. Although you all know they love her, she sees them as someone else to complete with for attention. Getting into a routine will help establish boundaries and guidelines as she develops the ability to communicate. Lots of friends in Guam and in NC are praying for and with you guys.

    The pictures are precious. I think my favorite is Brian and all three kids. Meisi is looking at Ian with so much love and adoration.

    Love you guys. Thank you for showing the love of God to so many who may never hear the gospel in words. Your actions speak louder than any words could ever be heard.


  5. I love following your journal. Looks like you are enjoying your time in China. I so know your feeling of just loving it there. I miss it. You will always have a special place in your heart for China and the people now. I know I do. Hey a couple of things my social worker told me as I was about to travel that was very helpful... First thing is you are in survival mode while in China... so many changes that will all change again once you get home. Do what you need to do to get home...home is where the true adjusting/bonding and relationship/family building will take place. Also probably the greatest piece of advice she told me was "Remember, this is not her dream come true!" Meaning... while you are the best thing for her and what she needs...she doesn't know that and hasn't been waiting all this time for you. Take it slow as you are and the trust, bond and family unity will come in time. Also, always consider her "family age" vs her real age. She's been with you a week.... imagine a one week old... they can do no wrong...even screaming crying all night! It's easier said then done for sure! There will be many ups and and downs in the next few weeks and months but remember God has had this planned and knows all about it. He will give you what you need to get through each and every moment.
    Remember "His strength is perfect when our strength is gone;
    He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.
    Raised in His power, the weak become strong;
    His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.

    Praying for a great rest of the trip and safe travels home! To God be the glory, Great things HE has done!
    Love, Emalee