Monday, October 15, 2012

Are you adopted?

I love Sundays. :)  I love going to church and being able to freely worship my amazing God.  I love having Life Group (Bible Study) with our friends.  I love how God always gives us what we need when we need it....even if in my emotional self it leads to tears. 

Yesterday in worship we sang this song..which led to those tears I mentioned as we sang the bridge...
"...And in the night when all our hope is lost,
You are the one who won't give up on us.
You hold the orphan in your loving arms
This is who You are....."

Lord, please do hold our sweet Meisi and all the precious orphans in your arms today.  How I long to know she is loved.  How I long to be the one who is loving her.  How I long to be with her, to spend time with her, to care for her....

I was also reminded by our pastor that I have been blessed with 86,400 seconds each day - use it or lose it....  How will I use that precious gift of time in this very brief life I've been given? 

As my hubby was prepping for Bible study that we have in our house (loads of fun - 11 adults and usually 13 kids (total of 16 kids between our families).  We eat together, talk together, pray together, laugh together. I.LOVE. IT (first time using period thingy) :)...but I digress....

Brian was prepping for our study on 1 John.  We are on chapter 3 this week.  He read a story that Max Lucado had written in regards to this chapter.  Here is what Max wrote:

"God not only forgives us, he also adopts us.  Through a dramatic series of events, we go from condemned orphans with no hope to adopted children with no fear.  Here is how it happens.  You come before the judgement seat of God full of rebellion and mistakes.  Because of his justice he cannot dismiss your sin, but because of his love he cannot dismiss you.  So, in an act which stunned the heavens, he punished himself on a cross for your sins.  God's justice and love are equally honored.  And you, God's creation, are forgiven.  But the story doesn't end with God's forgiveness.

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out "Abba! Father!" The spirit himself bears witness with our Spirit that we are children of God. (Rom 8:15-16)

It would be enough if God just cleansed your name, but he does more.  He gives you  His name.  It would  enough if God just set you free, but He does more.  He takes you home.  He takes you home to the Great House of God.

Adoptive parents understand this more than anyone.  I certainly don't mean to offend any biological parents - I'm one myself.  We biological parents know well the earnest longing to have a child.  But in many cases our cribs were filled easily.  We decided to have a child and a child came.  In fact, sometimes the child came with no decision.  I've heard of unplanned pregnancies, but I've never heard of an unplanned adoption. 

That's why adoptive parents understand God's passion to adopt us.  They know what it means to feel an empty space inside.  They know what it means to hunt, to set out on a mission, and take responsibility for a child with a spotted past and a dubious future.  If anyone understands God's ardor for His children, it's someone who has rescued an orphan from despair, for that is what God has done for us. 

God has adopted you.  God sought you, found you, signed the papers and took you home."  (From The Great House of God by Max Lucado).

After reading, I thought - wow...  God has those same longings for me... to spend time with Him, to be loved by Him, to love Him and others as He does.  And a realization that I do not spend my 86,400 seconds each day to the fullest, fearlessly resting in His arms. Of course, I have not finished the race... I will press on, learning more, leaning more, abiding more each day.

My adoption story is one of love.  I love because He first loved me.  His name is greater than any other... so thankful I carry his name as His daughter. 

So what about you -

Are you adopted?  If not, is God seeking you?  Do you feel Him drawing near to you?  Are you rebelling, are you running away?  If so... I pray you stop.  His arms are waiting to hold you.  He is full of grace, full of love.  He is faithful and worthy.  This is who He is. 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

While We Wait for Meisi

A new friend told me that her beautiful daughter from China loves looking at pictures of what they did while they were waiting to bring her home.  So, I decided to journal some of that on here. 

What do adoptive parents do while waiting? 

Paper work, read blogs, go to play dates with other wonderful friends who are adopting or have adopted, read everything we can get our hands on related to adoption for ourselves and our kids (LOVE the library). :) 
Brian double checking paperwork AGAIN - trying to be ready for LOA
Some great books we have read and are reading :)

We do normal (military type) things like:

Go to Air Force Ball

Brian rode on KC135 that refueled a F16 (yes, that is a Thunderbird), yes he took this pic!

Nesting has taken over which always involves painting. :)  We painted the playroom - a family least for a little while :)

The big project (been going on for um 2 years now) is cleaning out the garage.  With a purpose this week - our community garage sale is happening so we are hoping to get rid of things and make some $$ for upcoming travel expenses.  Sorry - no pics of this - it is too messy - lol.

While I was painting and Brian was organizing some in the garage, our kids decided to spend about 3 hours making a wagon for Meisi out of cardboard.  They made it with a handle, a seat and even streamers flying behind.  Said they could pull her around in the back yard.  I LOVE my kids. :)
"wagon" for Meisi :)

I love how Aili and Ian get excited about Meisi coming home too.  Sweet Ian asks so often, "Mommy, can we go get Meisi today?" I wish it were that easy!! They love looking at her pictures and kissing them. :) They talk about how they are going to love her and play with her.  They enjoy reading the books I get from the library...some of our new favorites - "The Red Thread, An Adoption Fairytale", "A sister for Matthew" and "Just add One Chinese Sister" - ok the last one I cried reading. :)  Aili'snext book report is on a nonfiction book about China. :)

Emotions - yep, lots of them. 

I keep relating this back to pregnancy as I have nothing else to compare it to...
Where am I now?
Third trimester... I'm tired, not sleeping well, uncomfortable, just wanting to hold my baby girl and be out of this stage...  also have the bad dreams...had them when pregnant too -  Satan trying to get me all worried.  God is faithful though. 

My sweet Aili said last night before bed, "Mommy I read what this says, but it still doesn't comfort me (she was reading "God's answers to little girls")."  I asked what she needed comforted about and she said, "I worry something will happen to Meisi before we can get to some of the other babies."  Ughhh.... with tears in my eyes the pictures of the precious babies on LWB page who have died  flashed in my memory.  One of the verses in her book was John 14:1 - Jesus said, "Don't let your heart be troubled.  Trust in God.  And trust in Me."  Aili and I talked on how that should bring comfort.  God is in control of all things.  He knew Meisi before she was born ("He knit her together in her mother's womb" Psalm 139:13) and He knows the plans He has for her and for our family ("plans to prosper you and not to harm you. to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11).  We have to trust Him.  We prayed for God to comfort Aili and to protect Meisi.  Aili and I both fell asleep within minutes of that prayer... I woke up at 2:30 am realizing I was still lying there next to her - oops!  Thank you Jesus for your comfort!!!

I am certain I will update more of "While we wait..." later.   this process takes time. Just to be clear though, we believe wholeheartedly - Meisi is worth the wait!  :)