Thursday, January 17, 2013

While I'm waiting...

This week I started an online Bible Study which is a first for me (doing a study online).  Thank you Holly for inviting me to join!!  The study is on Luke.  I don't know about you, but I just love when God shows me new things in words I have read many times before.  I love how He shows me how His word is applicable every day in our life.  It isn't a history book to sit on a shelf.  Rather, a book of life - where the more we read, the more abundant our life is - not in material items but in joy, hope, peace and love.

This week was a great week for this study as I have been really struggling while waiting. 

I KNOW God's timing is PERFECT!
I KNOW God had this all planned out before one day came to be....

But...but...but my human heart...and mind doesn't understand why I had to wait longer than many, many others on the same adoption journey....  longer for LOA, longer for article 5, longer to travel....

I KNOW that now we are not far away from travel,
Yet, I was sitting here jealous instead of being joyful for friends who are traveling before me.... Angry, because my plans were not playing out the way I had hoped...

I prayed this as the week began -
Lord, Search Me and Know My Heart 
Test Me and know My Anxious thoughts (Yep, He knows them)
See if there is any offensive way in me (Yes, there is....) and 
Please Lord lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalm 139:23-24

Today He opened my eyes in His word while reading Luke 1 (this is part of the online study I mentioned earlier).  It is the story of when the angel, Gabriel, goes to Mary to tell her she will be the virgin mother of our Savior, Jesus Christ. I LOVE how Gabriel told Mary the story of  Elizabeth and the miracle God had done in her conception of John even though she was barren.  Then he tells Mary that - "Nothing will be impossible with God."  Luke 1:37

Nothing.  So why don't I trust Him?  Why don't I lean on Him and let Him take the burden of dates and timing away from me? 

I have no idea how I would have responded to the news Mary got.. but Mary - her response was, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word"  Luke 1:38 


She didn't question Him.  She didn't say, "Wouldn't it be better to wait until I was married before doing this?" or "Maybe you should do it on my timetable?"  She didn't question if He had given the message to the right person...... 

No. She just said, let it be as you have said then she sang a song! What faith!  What trust! 

I am quickly reminded of another verse...
"Your eyes saw my (and Meisi's) unformed body; all the days ordained for me (and Meisi) were written in your book before even one came to be."  Psalm 139:16

He had every day planned before one came to be which means He knows when Meisi is to be in our arms...the EXACT day.  No amount of human work nor human error can change that.

Ahhh... Can you feel my deep breath here?

God is faithful.  I can trust that whenever that day comes to see our precious daughter  - that is the day He ordained for it to happen.  Thank you Lord Jesus for not just leaving us to blindly walk this journey of life on this earth.  Thank you for giving us Your Word through which you will guide us - if we will allow you to do so. 

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5

A new friend shared her blog with me about waiting and this song, "While I'm Waiting" is just perfect!  God speaks through not only His Word, but sometimes He uses our sisters and brothers in Christ as well!

Thank you Lord.  I know Nothing is impossible with you. I will trust You and Your timing.  Thank You for the much needed reminder. 

Behold, I am a servant of the Lord.  let it be to me according to YOUR will.  Amen 


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