Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day, Mommy Wars and the Motherless

Hope it was a JOYFUL Mother's Day for you!

Isn't it nice to have a day to be celebrated? :)  A day to get extra hugs and kisses, sweet cards and gifts made by our precious children. Beautiful flowers from hubby and kids (yes, he ordered some all the way from Afghanistan).  It is a nice day to think about the joys of motherhood.  

There are many joys - thinking of their precious 'firsts', hearing their laughter, seeing them smile, hearing them sing praises to our amazing God...  

Sometimes the joy of motherhood is more like that James talks about in James 1:2-4 - 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Day in and out God is refining me as a mother through these.. trials...   Do you ever have those days or weeks when your precious children make one poor choice after another, when the defiance seems worse each day?  

I know God is teaching me amazing things through motherhood - it is not easy, not a cake walk, and there are no instruction manuals...  But WOW - what a gift - what a life changing gift.  All good and perfect gifts are from above. James 1:17 

This weekend was full of those ups and downs and refinements and lessons for us.  Saturday morning started with us all getting up on the wrong side of the bed... but the day did get better. :)

We went to my favorite place for Southern cook'n - "Fred's" (love it as it reminds me of my 'Ole KY Home).

Here are some sweeter moments of the day.

Waiting to be seated
Kiss for the lil' bro

Next we went blueberry picking which was fun and yummy!

Ended our day with the community pool. :)

Apparently I was bit by what they think was a spider while picking blueberries.  Unfortunately, the doctor thinks the pool water caused an infection and I now have a nice cellulitis on my left arm.  Lesson learned - if you get bit by anything - don't go swimming!  

The good news - urgent care was not very busy on Mother's Day!  :)  Thanks to dear friends I had some much needed rest time without the kids for a couple hours while going to urgent care, getting antibiotics,pain pills and sleeping.. :)  

Perseverance until lacking nothing.  Wow- not there yet, but God does provide me all I need... 
I, however, often lack trust in Him and try to take matters into my own hands.  Which often leads to the feeling that I am failing, questioning if anything I say sinks into my kids brains...  

I often fall prey to the "Mommy Wars" as they are being called...  You know the breastfeeding vs. not; homeschooling vs. not; vaccinating vs not; spanking vs not; working vs staying at home; "real children" vs. "not" (yes people say that)....  We are passionate about our beliefs and like to share them.  Unfortunately, there is oftentimes some mom who is feeling she is doing it all wrong because of these "wars".... 

What the "mommy wars" really are seems to be a spiritual battle to me.  There are sooo many things Satan uses to make us feel inadequate, to make us question our being and ability to be a mother. Get Behind Me Satan!  My God is bigger, my God is stronger.... What a blessing to be a mommy - to do what you feel God has called YOU to do!  To be refined by Him daily.  No other job has brought me to my knees more and required that I stay focused on Him, His word, His love, His grace. 

Sometimes I think Satan uses all these "wars" to keep us preoccupied with ourself, our issues, our pains, our shortcomings.  Instead of allowing us to think of and pray for ALL the MANY MANY children who don't have a Mommy at all!  They've never celebrated Mother's Day because they have no one to celebrate.  They have no one to tuck them in, to give them hugs and kisses, to pray with them.  No one to give them security, no one to kiss their boo boos, or cheer them on in life, no one who says, "I love you."  

I am so thankful for being a mommy.  I am thankful for my two precious children.  Thankful for the trials...well, not always, but  I will have joy in all that the day brings...  I don't always handle it perfectly and do have to apologize to my kids for my not handling things as I should (when I try to be Lord of my life instead of allowing Him to be).  It is a great example of why we all need His grace and His mercy.  

Meanwhile, I pray for the motherless and have that longing to hold my new child just like the longing I had to see and hold Aili and Ian when they were growing inside of me.  I would LOVE to be able to love each child who has never known love.  Obviously, I can't do that.  I will start by loving the ones God has given me and however more He decides to give me through adoption while praying that more families will be called to this journey and  "Be Brave."  



  1. Great post my friend! Great spider bite too! Gracious!!!! Are you ok now???!! Bless your heart!

    1. Thank you Sonia. Much better now. :)

  2. Hi Deidra,
    This is Sarah. Man! What a reaction to the bite. Hope the swelling and redness has gone down. Do you think Brian will give you a retroactive Mother's Day:) Hope you mend quickly
    Sarah Risley

    1. Sarah - I am doing much better! Thank you. Not sure about the retroactive Mother's Day. :) I think just having him home will be reward enough. :)